Wrong Place, Wrong Time

R-U-M-B-L-E, R-U-M-B-L-E goes your stomach and you know what that means. The bathroom seems to be 100 miles away and you don’t have that much time. You know that you shouldn’t have eaten that ice cream because you know that you’re lactose intolerant BUT you just couldn’t help yourself. It wouldn’t be so bad if you were by yourself but you didn’t want to tell your date “no thank you.” Now you have to find a way to politely dismiss yourself and beat feet to the bathroom.

Question:

What is the most embarrassing situation that you have faced and how did you handle it? Share a good one, and help a sista avoid the same embarrassment.

My most embarrassing moment happened when I was living in Montgomery, Alabama while I was in college. I was on my way to work one Saturday morning and I was wearing a hot pink, form fitting, knee length dress that had a low cut back. It was August and extremely hot, so the dress was right on time. I was on my way to work at the dog track where I was a program stand attendant. I needed gas so I stopped at Raceway, my usual station. I got out of my car and proceeded to pump gas into my Datsun B210. I had my backside toward the pump while the gas pump nozzle was seated in the side of my car. I happened to look up an notice men staring at me like I was some Hollywood celebrity. My California liscense plates routinely caught people's attention, but the kind of looks and stares I was getting was not normal. A few minutes later, I felt a breeze on my backside. "Oh why didn't I wear a slip" that day. I looked at my hindside reflection in the front of the gas pump and OMG: the split up the back of my dress had met the low-cut scoup in the bodice of the dress above the waist! All of Alabama must have seen my BUTT!
I did have on panties and lucky for me, not a thong! I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I hopped in my car, started the engine and headed for home[scraping gears all the way]. When I arrived, I wrapped a jacket around my exposure, ran up the apartment stairs to change my clothes. I put on something hot, high collared, and... pants!
I'm not sure what advice I can give a Sista about how to avoid a similar situation other than "Check your seams before you go out...and wear a slip under your dresses!

My experience is much like the scenario. There I was just a cute as can be, on a date, doing the walk on the beach thing and suddenly, the drinks from dinner wanted to be let go. I'm not sure if you know how far the bathrooms are on a beach but there we were walking along, well my pace increased and my concentration on our conversation decreased, all I wanted was to catch sight of one of those little blue outhouses. As my bladder filled I started looking for options...you guessed it, the water! As bad as it sounds, I made my way closer to the incoming wave and playfully asked my date how much he liked the water?, he seemed to take it as dare...just perfect. As we moved a little deeper into the tide we begin to splash one another with water, well needless to say, one good splash from him and I suddenly lost my footing and opportunity and action found each other...wet is wet right? I guess you wonder what I done with the soiled garments right. Well being the gentleman he was and feeling as though my fall was his fault, we found a little store bought a pair of shorts and continued on the date.

I will never forget the night that my sister and I were allowed to go to a party. Momma didn't play the party game so it was not often that we had the opportunity to attend one. I must have been about sixteen and I just knew that I had it goin' on. I had on my dress jeans with a nice blouse, my 3 1/2 inch pumps, my hair in tact and a touch of makeup on. We arrived at the party and it wasn't hoppin' so we decided that we would leave. On the way back to the car we decided to cut through the grass to save time. Wet grass and high heels don't go together. One minute I was walking though the grass and the next minute I was trying to get my heel out of the grass on bended knees. My sister along with the rest of the people that seen me almost popped a blood vessel because they were laughing so hard. Sista's remember, when you put your heels on, don't take shortcuts through the grass, stay on the sidewalk.

two sisters wrote:R-U-M-B-L-E, R-U-M-B-L-E goes your stomach and you know what that means. The bathroom seems to be 100 miles away and you don’t have that much time. You know that you shouldn’t have eaten that ice cream because you know that you’re lactose intolerant BUT you just couldn’t help yourself. It wouldn’t be so bad if you were by yourself but you didn’t want to tell your date “no thank you.” Now you have to find a way to politely dismiss yourself and beat feet to the bathroom.

Question:

What is the most embarrassing situation that you have faced and how did you handle it? Share a good one, and help a sista avoid the same embarrassment.

Being a woman, I've had many embarassing situations, Oh, let me count the ways! What can I say, Murphy's Law ain't got nothing on me -- if it could go wrong, at some time or another, it will, and it did! Being a woman, you naturally just roll with the punches, pick yourself up, and go on. I've been all decked out going to work, and thinking I was cute, had my all too tight skirt split all up in the back to rip right up the butt! Lucky for me, I had laundry in the back of my van, and worked at a high school. I went right to Home Ec and the teacher stitched me right up! That was just God!

Another time I was singing in a group at church, putting on a special Sunday program, and marching out with the other ladies in the group, I realized that my skirt was hiked up in the back, and my butt was hanging out for all to see. Luckily, I wasn't in the rear, and the woman behind me got me straightened out before I did one of my famous twists and turns during my solo! (Nope, wasn't wearing no skirt that Sunday!)

But, these are pretty trivial circumstances compared to that which I can only say was attributed to the Holy Ghost! Like St. John in the Book of Revelations on the isle of Patmos, I would say . . . I was caught up in the Spirit, on the Lord's day. One day while attending a church function and highly charged women's conference, the atmosphere was emotionally and spiritually intense, and women were preaching, praying, and prophesying. Being amongst the women looking for a spiritual breakthrough, and a word from the Lord, himself, one of the women preachers latched hold to me. The atmosphere was filled with women speaking in tongues, and the group was a spiritual abyss filled with women seeking soul salvation and divine deliverance. Out of nowhere, this big matronly sister, obviouslsy sensing my need to be purged from my inner demons, commenced to praying over me. Suddenly out of nowhere before I could even say a word, she latched ahold of me as I earnestly cried out to God in prayer. I was bent over on my knees, eyes shut tightly in deep prayer saying "yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes, Lord . . ." The next thing I can remember because I have been traumatized for years every since -- is my wig being yanked completely off my head! She was saying, "God wants you to come before him just as you are! God wants you just as you are! Uncover youself!" Well, that may have been well and good for God -- but the reason I was wearing this wig was because my 'do' wasn't done! Needless to say, I think when my nappy, half braided head came out from underneath this wig . . . Lord have mercy! For a moment, all the spirit left my body -- literally! I think I could have evaporated into thin air! Like the song says,'If I had wings, I would have flown away!' But, then suddenly,(and it had to be God), I began to realize my true purpose for being there. My sudden fright and utter self consciousness left me just as quickly as it came, and eyes closed tightly shut, I kept on praying and I kept on wailing to God for my breakthrough and deliverance because truly my life I'd been living had been pure hell! I was looking for a spiritual transformation (in more ways than one! LOL!!!) and realized that perhaps it wasn't necessary for me to be so concerned about my physical looks, beauty, and appearance, if my soul was in such jeopardy! Afterwards and promptly, without saying one word, those big ladies praying all around me wiped my tears from my face, quickly helped me back up to my feet, and quietly readjusted my wig back on top my head. After a few moments passed, I stole away to the restroom, and shook my head in simple amazement in the mirror. I was a complete mess, but yet, still blessed! In the final analysis, when its all said and done, all I can say is -- Ladies, when you are in the spirit of the Lord and a place of intense worship and praise, make doubly sure EVERYTHING about you is "shout proof --especially your wig!" Halleluiah!