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    Single, Saved, and Satisfied

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    two sisters
    Admin

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    Single, Saved, and Satisfied

    Post  two sisters on Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:25 pm

    Single, saved and satisfied.
    The Single’s Ministry will be hosting….
    “Girl, I’m single and I like it just like that”!
    “I don’t need no man; I can take care of myself”
    All of these are lines we have heard over and over again. The part we don’t hear at the singles meetings, or from that sista that don’t need no man, is what you do on the nights, weekends, and holidays that you’re alone.
    Friends and family are fine but then what?

    Question:

    How do you, or how did you deal with being single when the friends and family are all at home with their men?

    curtonia

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    Single, Saved and Satisfied

    Post  curtonia on Sun Nov 01, 2009 6:58 pm

    I can not speak for when it happens, but for years I felt like...sad! Then a friend of mine became divorce and I would ask him how men dealt with being alone, his response was they start living all the things they wanted to do but couldn't. It spoke volumes to me because so many times I put things on hold because I THINK there more important in actuallity I am important too. Keep on living that's how I get by!!
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    motherof1

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    As for me

    Post  motherof1 on Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:08 am

    I know I say "I don't need a man" and that is true, but I will tell you this "I want a man." I know the feeling of having friends and family around they all have a boyfriend or worse a husband. It is like when am I going to have that, and I just have to remember that my time will come. Also, that being alone allow me get myself together so that when God does blesses me with a man I will be already whole.
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    YOUNGGIRL83

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    Something about having a man

    Post  YOUNGGIRL83 on Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:32 pm

    [i][b]

    Yes I think all that your saying about waiting for god and doing you is real, But it's hard sometimes what do you do when you need your needs met?
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    motherof1

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    well

    Post  motherof1 on Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:53 am

    well like right now i don't even have a man in my life so i just try not to think about.
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    THIS IS MISS HILL

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    It's not easy sometimes

    Post  THIS IS MISS HILL on Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:52 pm

    The truth of the matter is, it is just not easy sometimes. As women of God we know how we are suppose to handle ourselves, and being single, but there are times when it's more to it than your needs being met, it is natural for a woman of any age to want someone to care for and be close to. There are times when you're frustrated in waiting and you begin to think that maybe it's just not going to happen for you, you see friends and family with their husbands or boyfriends and sometimes it's actually embarrassing not to have someone in your life. As the holidays approach, things get a little bit tougher because you see couples shopping and all the little happy scenes of cuddling by the firplace, it all gets to be a bit much, but I try to hang on to Gods word saying "It's all working togather for the good" I look at Gods track record and know that he has not failed, or lied, or let me down not once, his timeing has always been perfect, so even though sometimes it's hard, it's lonely, and it's frustrating I would rather wait on God than try it on my own. I've tried it my way and WOW...just thinking about that helps me wait a little longer... So for me single, saved, and satisified, is actually single, saved, and praying, that Gods will be done. Hang in there sistas.
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    cesjkids

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    Change of focus

    Post  cesjkids on Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:49 pm

    Being single these days is almost considered to be a bad thing. You will begin to have self doubt as to whether there is something wrong with you if you are not careful. While it's all good to take yourself to dinner and a movie, it's also nice to have some companionship. What helps on the days when I'm very aware of the fact that I'm single is my pre-occupation with other things. It helps me to focus on something that makes me feel good like eating some See's candy!
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    Marsha

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    Enjoying life

    Post  Marsha on Wed Mar 03, 2010 10:35 pm

    Waiting is no joke no matter what you're waiting for. As a single women I can attest to going home to no one but me, myself, and I. It use to bother me until I learned about what other single women like myself was going through when it came to dating. All the trips and changes and the games that came with the game made being single a benefit. I only need one good man in my life and I believe if he's God's best for me, he's definitely worth the wait. Until then, I enjoy living life to the fullest until he arrives.
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    garden granny

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    From an older womans eyes

    Post  garden granny on Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:34 pm

    I've checked out the responses from the sistas and I suppose it really has a whole lot to do with a sistas age and the path she has walked. One young sista talked about your needs being met, another sista was concerned about how it looks to others that you reach a point and are still alone. I think the scenario implies that when it's said that a sista is saved, single, and satisified that perhaps she is saved and for sure she could be single but being satisified with the situation is where the problem lies. Having have been all of the above I can say that yes, there is a time where you need to be single so that you can work on YOU, all this jumping out there latching on to a man, you're broke, he's broke or you really have no idea of who you really are, what you want, what you need, what you will and will not accept in your life....
    At any age, there are lessons to be learned, if you look at the time that you're single as waiting for Mr. Right to come along, heck yes, it is hard, and it is frustrating, and yes your sexual needs start screaming and some days you just need someone to hold you, and so you pray God calms your flesh and it may work right away and it may not. Our churches seem to side step the real issues that women face being single and trying to stay saved, they seem to want us to forget about the way your body will scream at you. I prayed and I waited, and some days I failed and I started all over again. The main thing is to do like the one sista and acknowledge that God does indeed know right where you are, use the time to get to know yourself and get to know God.
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    Sarah's Daughter

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    Single, Saved, and Satisfied - This Is Miss Hill

    Post  Sarah's Daughter on Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:06 pm

    THIS IS MISS HILL wrote:The truth of the matter is, it is just not easy sometimes. As women of God we know how we are suppose to handle ourselves, and being single, but there are times when it's more to it than your needs being met, it is natural for a woman of any age to want someone to care for and be close to. There are times when you're frustrated in waiting and you begin to think that maybe it's just not going to happen for you, you see friends and family with their husbands or boyfriends and sometimes it's actually embarrassing not to have someone in your life. As the holidays approach, things get a little bit tougher because you see couples shopping and all the little happy scenes of cuddling by the firplace, it all gets to be a bit much, but I try to hang on to Gods word saying "It's all working togather for the good" I look at Gods track record and know that he has not failed, or lied, or let me down not once, his timeing has always been perfect, so even though sometimes it's hard, it's lonely, and it's frustrating I would rather wait on God than try it on my own. I've tried it my way and WOW...just thinking about that helps me wait a little longer... So for me single, saved, and satisified, is actually single, saved, and praying, that Gods will be done. Hang in there sistas.

    Can I get an Amen, Miss Hill! Single, saved and praying! I like that! You really touched on a few things that I have felt when single. I felt like I was the forgotten woman. I prayed, and cried, prayed, and cried, and prayed and cried some more. I didn't know how to be single and satisfied. I didn't think it was possible. Actually, I thought this was an oxymoron! LOL! This I found out had a lot to do with what I thought I needed to be happy. I was looking for love in ALL the wrong places. I thought that I needed a man to complete me and to make me feel like I was a woman worthy of love. It was not until I decided to try God, for real. I tried the rest, now I was ready to try the best! I decided that I was going to do things His way. I had heard all the saved Sistas talk about how wrong it was to have sex outside of marriage, and how God wanted me to dedicate my life to him. I knew this but I was soooo tempted whenever the opportunity presented itself. I was young, and I was hot! LOL! I didn't know how to live a life without a man in my life. If I had a man, there was definitely going to be some sex involved. I was caught up in what I thought was a no win situation. But, after running into all those brick walls . . . After finally getting my life turned so topsy turvey because of the ridiculous situations I allowed myself to get into, I couldn't do anything else but submit totally to the will and way of God. I said, Lord, I surrender. I give! I realized that He was there all the time. He had been there all the time, through all my upheavals, and downfalls. He loved me even when I could not love myself, unconditionally. I had never found a man that gave me that kind of love. Bit, by bit, after time, prayer, and devotion to the Word, I came to appreciate the alone time spent fellowshipping with God. I stopped looking for "Mr. Right." I made a conscientious decision that I was going to wait until my change came. The sexual desires didn't magically disappear, but it was easier to bare because I knew that the prize was worth waiting for. (Let me pause here and admit that the once I committed, the offers for sex came pouring in though, but that's another story . . .) LOL! What's more, I came to realize after much meditation that God was preparing me. If I could be dedicated to Him, I could be dedicated to my husband. I hadn't proven my self to be trustworthy in a sense, because I had not been completely faithful in past relationships. If God is not in it, you won't win it! That is fact. We can pick our own mate, or we can wait and let God do it. When I stopped looking, one day, I looked up, and he was standing right in front of me. I literally heard a small voice say, "now, this, is your husband!" I could have cried, because I couldn't believe it. Then, I was skeptical because the man that God showed me didn't exactly look like the kind of man that I would have chosen, for myself. But, its been six years now, and God was right on! We cannot think that it is all going to be that magical experience that we read about in fairy tales. Being single and saved means that you are in preparation. A married woman is devoted to caring for the things and needs of her husband. A single woman who is saved must be concerned about caring for the things of God! This is an awesome responsibility, and an awesome committment. If you are really serious about being single, saved and satisfied, you must be serious about committing yourself to upholding the principles and precepts of God. I think I have said enough.
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    missjohnniemae

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    My God, this is what we have needed for a long time now

    Post  missjohnniemae on Sun Mar 28, 2010 10:01 pm

    AMEN.....Amen for athompson62 and for Misshill, sistas, you both seem to have stepped right out of the pages of my life. So often we talk about everything in church BUT the fact that it is not easy to keep your mind on the things of God when your panties are wet. (now that may sound gross to some of you sistas but it is the real) I can and will admit that I too am one of the sistas that really want a man, THE man God hs for me, but in between I have fallen into trying to do it for myself and where there has been a connection, there has been sex, and I guess some of you will say that I sound like a whore (I apopogize for the word I mean no disrespect to anyone)but once again, I am just one of the real deal type sistas, it is what it is, I battle with my flesh wanting to be touched.
    I am working on getting to the point of being able to submit to God completely as this sista did, if God did it for her, I know he will do it for me, in the mean time sistas pray for me.
    Thank you Sista's Common Sense Corner for being here, it's about time we had a place like this.....
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    schoolgirl

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    Free to talk openly

    Post  schoolgirl on Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:57 pm

    I have to start by saying that it is so wonderful to finally have someone to talk about sex in a setting where one can be comfortable sharing their feelings. Having been raised in the church, teaching on how to stay "saved" as a single woman was not the problem. The real problem was how to handle your real, natural, God-given feelings when you start to get involved with the man that comes into your life for whatever season. The comments of Misshill and AThompson are very encouraging. I am truly beginning to see that God is preparing me during this time of waiting for the man that He has for my life. My focus is continuing to change toward Him as I continue to put him first in my life. Please don't think that I have never fallen and that I got this thing together. Oh, I have had to ask God for forgiveness so many times that its not funny and pray that God continues to keep me from falling. Learning to be single, saved, and satisfied is definitely the priority of my life.

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    Re: Single, Saved, and Satisfied

    Post  Guest on Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:24 am

    I must say I find it really hard.I know people say there is someone for everyone, so hurry up already lol.
    I must admite that at the minute I woulden't have the time for a relationship.But am sure when the time is right for one, things will be different and time will not be a an issue.
    Am 21 so most people my age are out partying or staying in with boyfriends.So when I call to say "let's go to the movies" I get no I can't am going out with the other half.Seems the older you get the more your friends part and you begin to feel more and more on your own.If you have a partner then great you can go out in couples and your not a spare part, but if you havent then your home alone.
    It makes me wonder if this is why so many relationships go wrong at a young age because people have relationship just for the sake of it. They think everyone else is so I need to aswell.So many people are scared of being on their own they live a lie.In a relationship for all the wrong reasons.I can see why people do though you are looked at so differently if you haven't been in a serious relationship at my age.Well you do where I am.Your odd or strange.
    The summer is the hardest because friends you used to spend all your time with have moved on.They are now away with boyfriends and spending all there time with them.I know you grow up and things change I totally understand that.That what lifes all about.It's about finding that someone that means everything to you and starting that family life you remember from being a young age.But it sometimes seems being single is no easyer then being in a relationship.
    I mean you grow up in a fun loving family and you are used to so much of it.Always someone to talk to and always someone to spend time with.Then your an adult and your on your own as people say.You can't help feeling something is missing.You cant help wishing that there was someone there.
    I know I trust God with everything in my life and the reason am not with someone is because the time isnt right, but I can't help but think It would be so nice to have someone that loves me for me that would always be there.!! :heart:
    Please be nice if you reply!!!
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    mygram

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    You are right on track

    Post  mygram on Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:43 pm

    I think you are right on track. At your young age you have so much time and so many things to learn, I read an article written by Dail Hill on the side of the site called Life Lessons and it is so right, it talks about every situation we go through having a lesson for us to learn and carry throughout our life. I'm so sure that you will meet a young man and when you do, you both will have gathered all of the life lessons you will need to make each other very happy, just keep thinking just like you do and put God first, and he said in His word that He will give you the desires of your heart.

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