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» Puttin' You on Blast
Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:16 am by CassandraDesiree<3

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Sat Aug 21, 2010 11:12 am by Auntie G

» Tough Love vs Life's Lessons
Mon Aug 16, 2010 4:02 pm by two sisters

» What's Love Got To Do With It
Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:17 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» No Support
Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:43 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» The Power You Give Should Be Your Own
Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:53 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» Who's Making Your Decisions
Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:41 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» Good Intentions
Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:22 am by CassandraDesiree<3

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    No Support

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    two sisters
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    No Support

    Post  two sisters on Fri Apr 09, 2010 8:26 pm

    Reunited after several years, a friend of yours that you’ve had a crush on since high school is in town. He arranges to pick you up for an evening out. Seeing him again makes you realize why you’ve carried this crush for him – he’s absolutely gorgeous. Dinner is great and the evening ends wonderfully. You both know that you’ll see each other again. As time passes, you both realize that this relationship is real and that it’s time to take it to the next level. You know that he’s ready and there’s only one thing stopping you – the racial difference. You’re concerned about the way others will see you.

    Question:

    Do you let your concern about the way others see you influence your decision? If you believe that he’s right for you, would it matter that you have little to no support regarding your decision?
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    missjohnniemae

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    I just don't think so

    Post  missjohnniemae on Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:33 pm

    People say often, "I don't care what people think about me", or similar things, and the truth is, we all do to some extent care what people say about us and the way they see us, we often want to say, "I do this for me" but think about it, when you're at home by yourself you will let your hair be all over your head, no bra on, walk around in your pj's all day and not brush your teeth until you get good and ready and if anyone says they have never done this I'm sorry but you're lying, we have all done it, some days we just don't feel like combing hair and brushing teeth and all that, so we don't but you let there be guests, or if you have to run out, of course you get it togather, why? because you don't want to be seen in public looking any old kind of way.....Likewise, we care about what people think of our choices in a mate so if there is a difference in race and it creates a problem with the people around us, people we care for, our families, our friends, if we have no support it would be awfully hard to try to have a relationship. In my family we do have couples married and unmarried of mixed race but personally I just can't say that I would be willing to face the conflict and issues they have had to face.

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    Been there!!

    Post  Guest on Sun May 02, 2010 7:04 am

    When I look at this situation I must say I would go with my heart.Even if I had little or no support from others.If I really truly thought that the relationship would work and he was the one for me, I woulden't think twice.Your heart never tells a lie.From a young age I was always told in these situations to follow my heart, not my head.I was taught to trust God!!!!!!!!
    I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason no matter what sort of situation.Some are here for many years some just a few months.But as long as you learn the lesson and take it with you you'll never forget the person ,even if they are taken from you.These are some wise words that I had shared with me not to long ago.At first I was a little unsure but now I understand them.

    In this situation you could very well loes your friends and some family members.Maybe even all of them. But if they love you they will come round to the idea in time.I know I have been their as you will read later.I don't think the way a person looks should really count for as much as it does.If they are loving and caring and treat you right does it really matter what their race or even what they look like? I never notice a person shell meaning the way they dress or the colour of their skin. Its the beauty inside that I see.Which will always stand out more for me.

    I was for a few months in a relationship with someone of a different race and it was hard for me.Wondering why? It was because a very close family member said to me I had to choose him or my boyfriend.I choose my boyfriend of course.For the few months during and after our relationship I never saw this family member or spoke to them.I was shocked that the colour of my boyfriends skin really made such a difference.
    I must admite it was hard to lose someone so close to me for so long but he now values my views more and is more open to the idea of me dating people of a different race.
    Now you may think why? Why was he against it so much.Let me just make it clear he has no problem with people of a different race,never has and never will.Just back in his day people of different races didn't date so he was unsure to the whole idea.

    I know I only had one family member unsure but there were his family members that were really against the whole idea.For months we fought to make then see it could work.But he was unable like me to turn his back on his family till they understood.Then again he did have his whole family and in that situation I say I woulden't bother.That I would still go for it.But who really knows till they are there in that situation.This was the reason as to why we broke up.Everyone is different and sees things different.

    So you see I learned a lesson to follow my heart even though I may be on my own and trust that God wanted it for me and my family member learned that change is sometimes good.That just because he had it one way doesen't mean it has to stay the same.

    This is now why I never judge a person even if some of the things they do I don't understand.At the end of the day we are all God's children and if we spent more time caring and loving each other and less time picking the world would be a better place.No one has the right to judge anyone, everyone is equal on this earth and they always will be.
    God bless everyone Very Happy
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    jlee

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    Re: No Support

    Post  jlee on Wed May 26, 2010 9:57 pm

    I wanted to start by saying thank you to Harmony for sharing your experience. As I was reading your response, it reminded me of how we as individuals have our own personal preferences that are not necessarily the preferences of our family and friends. I can recall a situation where I had decided to pursue a relationship that my mother was totally against. I really couldn't understand her point of view being that it was me who was in the relationship. Nevertheless, whenever he came to the house or attended events where my mother would be present, it was not a good situation. It was tough during those times but when my mother was not involved it was great. The relationship ended for reasons other than the lack of support from my mother but I believe that I was meant to experience that relationship to learn things that I may not otherwise have learned.
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    CassandraDesiree<3

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    If I am happy, that's all that counts..... to me

    Post  CassandraDesiree<3 on Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:43 am

    I have never looked at color as an issue when making the decision whether to pursue a relationship with someone or not. My mother and grandmother was of course raised to not date outside your race, however they never looked at anyone differently because of there race. They taught me to see everyone as my equal, however alway told me a mixed race relationship would face judgement by others and so would any children we would have. I have dated some out of my race in my younger days, and did not receive much judgement, nor did my family give me a hard time about it.
    I however went off and I married a man who is 1/4 African American and his father is 1/2 African American. My mother and grandmother NEVER raised that issue up when we told them when we were going to get married and they came to LOVE him very much, and my momma was very happy that I had chosen a great man to be my husband. Now I know this is eh... Some what different than being married to have a relationship with someone that is a completely different race, but it is still border line on the subject. My mother and granny have gone to Heaven now, and in fact me and my children are closer and are cared for MORE by my husbands fathers family, than we are from his Mothers side of the family.
    I will make sure my children know that there will be some trials that they will face if they should choose to be in an interracial relationship, but if they truly love that person and that person truly loves them, than Race should NOT be an issue! Because lets face it ladies a good man is HARD to find no matter what their race is!! Holla
    I love you

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