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» Puttin' You on Blast
Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:16 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» Mama Today vs Mama Yesterday
Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:06 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» God Grant Me The Strength
Sat Aug 21, 2010 11:12 am by Auntie G

» Tough Love vs Life's Lessons
Mon Aug 16, 2010 4:02 pm by two sisters

» What's Love Got To Do With It
Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:17 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» No Support
Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:43 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» The Power You Give Should Be Your Own
Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:53 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» Who's Making Your Decisions
Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:41 am by CassandraDesiree<3

» Good Intentions
Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:22 am by CassandraDesiree<3

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    My Addiction

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    CassandraDesiree<3

    Posts : 20
    Points : 3155
    Reputation : 10
    Join date : 2010-04-17
    Age : 36
    Location : Augusta Georgia

    My Addiction

    Post  CassandraDesiree<3 on Mon May 31, 2010 12:59 pm

    My addiction is nerve pills. I had never taken one until I lost my mother in October of 2007. I could not cope with losing her. She was only 56, and I was only 25. Not having a relationship with my father, and very little family. I felt lost and almost like an orphan. I could not even clean out her apartment. I tried, but everytime my husband would take something out of a drawer or closest I would run back and put in back in. Her friends of many years had to clean it out. I could not imagine life with out her. I stayed in bed for weeks, and ate only what I had to. My sister in law came over and saw how upset I was, and my husband told her how I had been acting. She offered my a couple of her nerve pills, and for once my pain was gone, and I could play with my daughter with out having memories flood my mind of me and my mom when I was young. I felt like I could live again. So I went to my doctor and told him what was going on and he prescribe me nerve pills of my own. Now with that being said. It is 2 and a half years later and I do not have to take my pills everyday. It is not a must have, but I do still rely on them on hard or stressful days. And If I am having on of those days and do not have my medicine, I am a total wreck and mess. To me though I am doing the best I can to not depend on them. I only take them when needed. I also am a smoker or cigarettes, and that is a bad addiction I have had since I was old enough to smoke. I try to cut back and not smoke as much as I use to. However I am afraid if I quit I will gain massive weight, and become frustrated easily. However I do my best everyday to not depend on cigarettes, and do my best to cut back!
    I also and addicted to clothes and shoes. But that is just the girl in me and I think that one is okay. I don't spend bill money on them and I always donate the clothes I can't wear any more and I love enjoying helping my friends look their best, so if they have someone they have to go and need to look nice, they know who to call and I LOVE answering that call! Very Happy
    Well, thats a piece of me, please don't judge me for I will never judge anyone! Thanks!
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    Sarah's Daughter

    Posts : 32
    Points : 3190
    Reputation : 13
    Join date : 2010-03-25

    If walls could talk . . .

    Post  Sarah's Daughter on Sat Jun 05, 2010 8:23 am

    grifcsnd wrote:My addiction is nerve pills. I had never taken one until I lost my mother in October of 2007. I could not cope with losing her. She was only 56, and I was only 25. Not having a relationship with my father, and very little family. I felt lost and almost like an orphan. I could not even clean out her apartment. I tried, but everytime my husband would take something out of a drawer or closest I would run back and put in back in. Her friends of many years had to clean it out. I could not imagine life with out her. I stayed in bed for weeks, and ate only what I had to. My sister in law came over and saw how upset I was, and my husband told her how I had been acting. She offered my a couple of her nerve pills, and for once my pain was gone, and I could play with my daughter with out having memories flood my mind of me and my mom when I was young. I felt like I could live again. So I went to my doctor and told him what was going on and he prescribe me nerve pills of my own. Now with that being said. It is 2 and a half years later and I do not have to take my pills everyday. It is not a must have, but I do still rely on them on hard or stressful days. And If I am having on of those days and do not have my medicine, I am a total wreck and mess. To me though I am doing the best I can to not depend on them. I only take them when needed. I also am a smoker or cigarettes, and that is a bad addiction I have had since I was old enough to smoke. I try to cut back and not smoke as much as I use to. However I am afraid if I quit I will gain massive weight, and become frustrated easily. However I do my best everyday to not depend on cigarettes, and do my best to cut back!
    I also and addicted to clothes and shoes. But that is just the girl in me and I think that one is okay. I don't spend bill money on them and I always donate the clothes I can't wear any more and I love enjoying helping my friends look their best, so if they have someone they have to go and need to look nice, they know who to call and I LOVE answering that call! Very Happy
    Well, thats a piece of me, please don't judge me for I will never judge anyone! Thanks!

    Grifscnd, I really related to what you have written, because I had my own share of personal addictions down through the years. Oh, boy, if walls could talk! What would they say about what they have seen, and what they have heard! The fact of the matter is that all of us at some point in time in our lives has had to reach outside of ourselves for something that would just help us to make it through the days and nights. Sometimes it gets really hard to deal with all the different challenges and issues that we face. in our lives. Certainly, the loss of close loved ones, divorce, breakups, and any type of separation or sudden changes that are unplanned, and unprepared for can be very stressful. I used to hear the old folks say that "stress can burst a steel pipe!" A lot of times though, we want the quick fix, a miracle solution to just make the pain simply go away. But, what I know now is that it is the process itself (including -- the pain) that is sometimes needful for our growth and understanding. Life truly hurts sometimes, but there are lessons in this time that will help to shape us. It is unrealistic to think that we are only going to experience joy, and not pain and suffering. Through personal suffering and losses, we do learn how its okay to feel hurt. It's okay to want to cry. We are only human, and sometimes, we need to cry. If you feel like crawling into a hole, that's okay too. If you want to sit in your room, and not talk, that is not abnormal, and doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. It is when we ignore those feelings, and try to mask them, and try not to feel them, that we open the door to our addictions that can then potentially take on a life of their own. If we desensitize ourselves through self-medication, then we just prolong the time that it will take for the true healing to take place. Sometimes it can take years, because we feel like the methods that we are using are helping us to get through the long days and nights without feeling the pain anymore. Then, since the pain is lessened, we feel safe that we are okay and can move on with the day to day routines. However, they are in actuality, not gone anywhere. They are simply buried underneath, and waiting for an ideal opportunity to come out again even stronger than before, if we are not careful. All I can really say is learn how to allow yourself time to really understand what you are feeling. Through writing, consistent prayer to God, and meditation on his word, we can come into realization of what is on the inside of us. The pills, the alcohol, the drugs, the gambling, the overeating, the smoking, the shopping, and all the other sometimes obsessive, compulsive, often self-destructive things that we do to ourselves are only temporary "quick-fixes" -- I recommend the only real help that I know -- His name is Jesus! He will always be there to listen, and to bare your burdens. You can unleash your deepest fears, and frustrations on him, and he won't judge you, nor hold them against you. Try Jesus, Grifscnd. He never fails.

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