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    Stressed Out

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    two sisters
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    Stressed Out

    Post  two sisters on Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:50 pm

    You’re at work and you’re doing what you do, dealing with your job duties, dealing with the attitudes and personalities of your co-workers, dealing with yourself….and you get a phone call from home, it’s your son/daughter with a question and/or issue; they immediately hear the tension in your voice and ask, “What’s wrong”? , “oh just stuff,” you say, trying to get it together. Your child proceeds joyfully to tell you in detail, about something that actually could have waited until you come home. Before you know it, your neck is tight, your face is all tore up, and you can just feel the headache coming on……STRESS!!!!

    Question:

    Stress. It’s so common to say, “I’m stressed out”. We take pills for it, we try yoga, we eat, and we don’t eat. You name it, we try it.
    What has actually worked for you to limit the stressors in your life?
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    cesjkids

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    Re: Stressed Out

    Post  cesjkids on Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:07 pm

    There are so many things that can stress me out bad. Some of them I have much better control over then others. I find that I have to stop and take a breather. That may mean that I have to take a walk at work, or leave home to walk the mall, or just find somewhere to sit down and close my eyes for a minute. No matter what I do, I have to take time to divert my attention to something that takes my mind off or out of the thing that may be stressing me if at all possible.
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    jlee

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    Re: Stressed Out

    Post  jlee on Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:16 pm

    There is good stress and then there's bad stress. Trying to keep the two separated seems almost impossible. I try walking to help me relieve some of my stress but when the walk is over, it's back to the things that stress me out. I have to agree with what has been said and try and do something that gives me a chance to breathe - something different if only for a short period of time.
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    tina29

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    Personal Problem

    Post  tina29 on Tue Mar 23, 2010 5:53 pm

    Personally, I don't understand why you would let your kids stress you out or for that matter your co-workers or anybody else. If you choose to let other people or things stress you out, that's your choice. You might want to think about making better choices.
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    Auntie G

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    For the sista that doesn't understand.....

    Post  Auntie G on Tue Mar 23, 2010 10:00 pm

    You are right sista, you truely do not understand! Life lived to any "real" degree shall bring stress. You obviously have no children, and if you are in the work force, you will encounter people that regardless of your choices, will bring stress to some degree. Do we have to wallow in it? By all means we do not, we do what we must to make it. Maybe you should stick around and check out some of the sistas words of wisdom.

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    Re: Stressed Out

    Post  Guest on Mon Apr 19, 2010 8:56 pm

    Everyone has stress in their life and the people that say or think they don't are lucky.Everyone is different and deals with things differently!!At the end of the day we are only human.
    I have a habbit of getting far to stressed out I worry that things will go wrong when really I should be concentrating on them going right.Having the faith that things will go exactly how God wants them to be.
    I always find that my singing and dancing stops me stressing out so much.Its the best way to let go of how you are feeling and helps you develope the person you are.
    I also love to walk in the countryside.There is nothing better then to go for a long walk and think.Someone very dear to be always used to say "stop,think and live in the moment".I think of this everytime am feeling myself getting stressed.Some of us take life to serious and stress when it isnt needed, me being one of them!!!Instead of me thinking life and time is such a gift and should be tresured not wasted on worrying.Which at the end of the day counts for nothing.
    I have seen so many people,for many different reasons get stressed out and evertime they have, God has been their to guide them.So all along all that was needed was faith!! Faith that when you have your bad days and your that stressed you could pull your hair out.There is always gona be that one person that see's it all and knows just how you feel.Someone always there with tender loving care and that's GOD.
    So when you get stressed stop and be greatful for what we have.So many other people would love and cherish what we have.When you get stressed at work just think I have a job which puts the roof over my head,the food on the table and helps take care of my family.When you get stressed because the children are just not listening to a word u say take a deep breath and count to ten.So many people would love to have children and never will.
    This is what I apply to alot of what I experience doesent always work and it may not for you but its worth a try.May your days and night be STRESS FREE!!.god blessx
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    CassandraDesiree<3

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    Reply to Harmony and what I do when I'm stressed

    Post  CassandraDesiree<3 on Mon Apr 19, 2010 9:37 pm

    I think it is awesome that you have a talent such as dancing and singing when you get stressed out! But like you said you should not worry about things you can not change. I always think about the verse in the bible in the book of Matthews that goes "Do not worry about tomorrow, Today had troubles of it's own" I've always loved this verse, because it also says to me do not worry or stress over things I can not change. Like, I can not change what others think if they are to head stong. I also can not change to make someone feel a certain way or see things my way if they don't want to!
    So other than slowing down and reading the bible, I also love to sing when I'm stressed. I put my heart and soul into every word I seeing and it takes me far away from the things that are bothering me!


    Last edited by grifcsnd on Mon May 31, 2010 12:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Marsha

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    Out of control

    Post  Marsha on Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:07 pm

    I definately appreciate the words that have been shared regarding how others handle stress. There are times when there just seems that nothing offers relief. Taking a walk, soaking in the tub, singing, dancing or whatever it may be sometimes does not do the trick because so much stress has been built up. I guess it's much easier when you can get a handle on things before they get out of control but when they are already out of control what suggestions can be offered?

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    Re: Stressed Out

    Post  Guest on Sun Apr 25, 2010 7:33 am

    I have spent the last week learning so many lessons on stress.Its almost like God was helping me learn the lesson.So here is how I now look at stress.Can you see what a difference a week can make.How it can make you see things a little different.I have not alone seen how I have stopped stressing as much but also how others have to.I have also seen how not taking time for yourself and to much stress can damage a persons life!!
    I must say I havent a family yet so I do not have half the stresses in life that some people do who have.But I have nephews and friends with children and I see some of the stress they go through.lol.
    I have to say to them so many times chill.Don't takes things to serious.You no what children can be like they love to make a mess.They don't always listen and as a result it can be frustrating.But you'll miss it all one day.You'll miss spending that hour every night tidying after they have gone to bed.Just to do it all again the next day.But before you no it they will be grown up and will have moved away.Don't be the parent that nags becuase they spilt a drink or got dirt on their cloths.Its all part of growing up and learning.If they break something it can be replaced,if they spill something you can mop it up,if they draw on the walls you can re paint it.It seems now when I see some people nothing makes them stress more.They stress over thing they don't need to be stressed over.On things that are so small.Life is to short so enjoy it.
    I understand that it is not possible to not stress about somethings, everyone does.But its learning what you do and don't have to stress about.

    One thing I sometimes do is write it down.When you are so mad with a situation or something is really stressing you out write it down and then let it go.It can be anything.Even something that is worrying you rather then stressing you out.Leave it with God.Ask him to help you find patience!!
    I never had patience and always used to get stressed but now through God I have learn to be greatful for everything.Even the stressful things.
    Like when my sister had her major back operation some years ago.I learned a lesson like we can in everything we do.I learned to love and be greatful for the people in my life.I think no matter how bad or stressful a situation you can learn from it.Even a situation where other look at you and are like why would you do that.
    Alot of the time when we get stressed it is because we are not patient.We won't wait for the results we want them there and then.But this is God teaching us what we need to know.Not everything will work out perfect that isnt why we are all here.
    You ever notice how patient God is no matter how many times we do something wrong he never gets stressed and he never gives up on us.He waits for the next time when we may do it right.

    I also think a good way to recharge is going out with friends to let your hair down it is the best feeling ever.Getting away from everything.
    Even go and get your hair or nails done.Take some time for you.
    One of my favorites though is what I call a "girls night in".Where you do nothing but laugh and share funny stories.Just like when you had your sleepovers as a child.Go back to then when you never stressed the same.Talk about your stresses with them if they are bothering you.A few heads is better then one.You never know they may have been through it and be able to help you before you get really stressed with it.There are times I have stressed and after meeting with the girls and looking at it from a different angle its not as bad as I first thought.
    I no you may think I am to young to have had proper stress and maybe I haven't yet but I have seen first hand the damage to much can do.When loved ones are ill by it.All becuase they didn't no when to stop and take five and didn't no how to ask for advice.
    I always get told what doesen't kill you makes you stronger.I just think we need to learn the things in life that are not worth stressing over and the things that maybe are more important.Remember your only here once so why stress and worry your life away.What does stressing get you it doesen't help in anyway? Just trust God to guide you and he will always!!! Smile
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    schoolgirl

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    Re: Stressed Out

    Post  schoolgirl on Tue May 04, 2010 11:54 pm

    First, I would like to start by saying that since I've joined this site I've been encouraged, inspired and helped by the experiences and comments shared by my sistas. I am beginning to understand that how you choose to look at a thing can either help to reduce stress or create stress. Many times, my choices have cause alot of unnecessary stress just because of how I perceived the situation to be. It's undeniable that stress is here to stay, but it does not have to consume you. Instead of trying to handle everything in 1 day, I pick 1 or 2 things that need to be completed that day and the next day I pick another 1 or 2 things so that I can have some time left to do so of the things that were suggested like taking a walk, getting my nails done, or spending time with family & friends. Sistas, we have got to "slow our role" so that we don't get all stressed out. It is important for us to be healthy and remain that way so taking time to review our choices so that we eliminate the unnecessary stress has to be priority.
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    Sarah's Daughter

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    Prayer and meditation is the key . . .

    Post  Sarah's Daughter on Wed May 05, 2010 8:34 pm

    schoolgirl wrote:First, I would like to start by saying that since I've joined this site I've been encouraged, inspired and helped by the experiences and comments shared by my sistas. I am beginning to understand that how you choose to look at a thing can either help to reduce stress or create stress. Many times, my choices have cause alot of unnecessary stress just because of how I perceived the situation to be. It's undeniable that stress is here to stay, but it does not have to consume you. Instead of trying to handle everything in 1 day, I pick 1 or 2 things that need to be completed that day and the next day I pick another 1 or 2 things so that I can have some time left to do so of the things that were suggested like taking a walk, getting my nails done, or spending time with family & friends. Sistas, we have got to "slow our role" so that we don't get all stressed out. It is important for us to be healthy and remain that way so taking time to review our choices so that we eliminate the unnecessary stress has to be priority.

    As usual, all of my Sistas have offered some sage wisdom and advice. Some seem to have their pulse right on the answer, and have rightly figured out that stress comes from worry. Worry in turn comes from fear, and fear stems from our desire to realize our expectations. I heard someone say that fear was in essence, "false expectations appearing real." We stress out in essence because we strive for perfection. We want everything to be as we have envisioned it to be. I don't think it is unrealistic to desire perfection, but it may be unrealistic to expect perfection. As humans, we are imperfect beings. We strive for perfection because we are made in the image and likeness of God. God is perfect because he is God. However, in this walk of life, being born into sin, we will never fully attain to this status. Having said this, the question leads to another point, life is always filled with experiences that will teach us what we need to know. We are continually learning. We have to grow and develop over time into the people that we are destined to be. Only by going through our trials and our tribulations will we be thoroughly refined.

    Much like the refiner that removes the impurities from precious metals, like gold and silver, we are tried in the "fire." Our lives "try" us, and we are refined. We are made over through every experience and trying situation that we go through. So, when you look at things in this way, you almost learn to welcome adversity, because through adversities, we learn patience, and tolerance, acceptance, foregiveness, and temperance. These are also a few of the fruits of the spirit that the scriptures talk of. This is how I have learned to deal with stress. Like anyone, I don't like it, but I know now that when I come through a trying situation, I am made better. I am learning now to release situations into the hands of almighty God because he knows how much I can handle. When I give over to his power, I am less burdened. I learned that I was stressing mainly because I thought I was the one in control, and should be the one to try to "fix" things. Now, I realize that only God can really do the fixing, because he is the one who is in ultimate control. Being a mother of four children, I wanted so much for everything to be perfect for them, and for us. This is natural, but totally unrealistic. What I should have really wanted more for them is the wisdom to know that life is not perfect. Life is not stress free. Life is full of joys and sorrows, and we have to learn how to accept that which we cannot change. Little things that are in the scope of my control, like spilled milk, I can handle. But, when it comes to changing situations that are totally out of my control, like making a person that I dearly love see when they are headed in a totally dangerous direction, is not something that I may be able to do. Only with the help of the Lord can effectual changes that have to do with others be made. I cannot control what another person does or thinks. I can barely control my own thoughts, and my own reactions to circumstances and situations. Learning to handle stress comes with my realization of who is really at the helm of my life. I am continually learning how to let go, and let God. When we trust God with our decisions, and our choices, we can be assured that he will guide us in the right direction. This reminds me of the saying: "If you worry, why pray . . . and if you pray, why worry?" It's about learning how to totally depend and trust in God, our creator who is all knowing, and all powerful. Even if we make a mistake, which we will almost always do many times again and again, we can depend on God to be there and to help put us back on the right path. These realizations only came after many stress-filled years of hitting my head upside the brick wall, and many days and nights of frantic worry. I did everything backwards it seems, and then I came to a point when I realized that I was ready to let God try to manage my life. After all, he gave it to me. He should know a little bit more about how I should live it! LOL!

    In the final analysis, I've found out that if I simply learned how to listen . . . and start to spend a little time just walking and talking with God, everything would be alright. I guess that some would call it meditation. But, I just call it listening. This is what I do now, and it helps so much. I wake up early, before everyone is up, and I just sit, and meditate on his goodness and mercy. When my children were all at home, driving me completely crazy . . . after arriving home from work, I used to pull into the driveway, and before I would even get out of the car, I would just sit there, in silence. I would let the seats recline back, and I would relax for however long it took, just me and God. At first they thought that I was crazy, but I knew that I just needed some peace in my spirit before I hit the door. I would ask God to lead me and to guide me. Daily, I'd ask him to give me my daily assignment. I would wait, and I'd anticipate that he would answer. The answers don't always come right away, but I tell you, in some way, he always answers.

    My simple answer for stress is prayer. Prayer is emptying what's in your heart and talking to God . . . meditation is listening with faith and expectation for his response. God is ever faithful, he sees, he hears, and he knows the deepest thoughts and intents of our hearts. Scriptures say that we should seek first the Kingdom, and its righteousness, and all things will be added unto us! When we begin to put our lives in a proper perspective we will be greatly blessed!

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